My Dad and the Many Questions

I know many of you are probably wondering why I haven't talked about my Dad that much. I guess it's because I didn't know how to express it to anyone. It is a big shame that my Dad did die. He was such a good man. And since I'm only the oldest of 5, and barely a minor, I can't do too much any way. I try to help around the house, but I seem like I'm just getting in the way. I know that I am helping (sometimes) but I wonder if it gets to be too much. I always think, what would my Dad do? And I find myself saying that he wouldn't want me to be sad and he would want me to be doing something productive. But at the same time, when can I feel sad? I have been so confused lately. That little fact and the fact that what is he like now? I mean up in Heaven? Does he look like himself? Is he just a little ball of light floating around? Does he fell happy? How about all the things that he never knew and that he knows know? Does he mind them? If you fell happy in Heaven, then when you learn the truth, are you still happy? I haven't felt peace within myself for a while. If anyone can help by answering, that would be great. But even with those out of the way, there are just so many questions I still have that I have not already mentioned. Why must this be so difficult?